my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
