Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
