Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
