We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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