I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
