If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
