so let's talk penis.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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