I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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