R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
