Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Randomize
