He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
