...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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