where am i from again
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
