Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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