how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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