White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
