Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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