i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
