problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
