glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
