He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
