I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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