Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
