Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
