I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize