When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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