Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
