What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
