I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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