It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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