But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
