john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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