I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize