operation harelip BJ is a go
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Randomize
