in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
