Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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