Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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