No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
