Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
