Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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