the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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