All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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