If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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