I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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