Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
