The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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