"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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