nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
How naked do you want me to be?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
