So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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