Grow some girl-balls and come out already
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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