In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
