dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
