AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
