I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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