I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I want to have your abortion
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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