Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
