I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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