Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
