She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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