the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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