you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
