I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
