What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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