Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
