You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize